Courting and Marriage

In this discussion courtship refers to the younger age group as well as the older, more mature, group whose courting practises were leading to marriage.

Courting among the Youth

To fifteen and sixteen year olds of that time sex was almost unheard of. They believed that babies came from under rocks or from behind wells. To them dating was a very light-hearted affair. If a youth had an interest in a certain someone he/she would probably throw a snowball or a rock at the person. If the feeling was mutual the person would return the attention by throwing a snowball back or maybe by chasing the other person.Going steady was very uncommon. Young people always gathered in groups and a couple would never wander off by themselves. Within this group a girl and fellow might hold hands but they would not do so in the presence of adults. When a girl was going home at night a boy would probably walk a little ways with her. He would never go right to her house - usually just half way. The girl went the rest of the way by herself or with a few of her friends who were sure to be walking close behind.A guy who liked a particular girl would visit her home frequently. He would never pretend that he had come solely for the purpose of getting a chance to see her.At dances one would dance with different people. Remaining with the same partner all night was unheard of.

On May 15th all the girls in the community would have great fun finding out what the initials of their husbands would be. The first chance they got on this morning they would beat an egg in a glass. The egg would then be placed in the window where the sun could get at it. The girls would watch to see what forms the egg would take in the light. Some would get an older person to "read" the egg for them. In the evening when the sun set they would throw the egg on the street and then sit by the window to see what would happen. The first fellow to walk over the egg would have the initials of a future husband. Sometimes, of course, the fellows would add to the fun by sending the most unlikely guy in town to walk over the eggs.

Courting among the Older Age Group

It was not until youth turned about 19 or 20 that serious dating began.Sunday would be the day on which the men usually visited their girls for on most of the other days of the week they were busy fishing. They would probably go to church together, and in the afternoon go walking.When a couple decided that they wanted to be married the custom demanded that the man would have to ask the girl's father for her hand. Parents were often strict about who their daughter married. One informant says, "A good many pints of beer were drunk before a fellow got the nerve to ask."Once having acquired the hand of his girl a man would present her with the engagement ring. There would be no engagement party. In fact, there would be no celebration at all until the wedding itself.

Weddings

Years ago weddings were very special affairs. Some of the tasks and traditions of weddings in the forties and fifties (or thereabouts) are given here.

Dresses

One of the very first tasks was the making of the dresses for the bridal party. A woman in the community who was noted as a "good hand to sew" would usually be asked to undertake this job, which would take about a week to complete. The bride's family would provide this woman with the necessary lace, embroidery, and material. The material usually used for wedding gowns was white chiffon or muslin. Approximately six or seven yards was needed.

There were many different styles of dresses for the occasion and the bride chose the type which she wished to wear. As the woman would have no pattern by which to make the dress, the bride-to-be would visit regularly to try it on.

Most of the sleeves were very large from the shoulders to the elbows, and tight from the elbows to the wrist, with small white buttons down the sides. The skirt was loose with the bodice usually tight-fitting. A long white slip would also be made to be worn under the wedding dress. Such slips were known as "underskirts" and it was even considered "indecent" if the bride went to the altar without one. They were fitted such that they were low both in the front and in the back and when finished the skirts would be just as fancy as the wedding dress itself.

The bridesmaids would have their own dresses made. The bride did not choose the colour or style of their dresses - they were chosen according to the preference of the bridesmaids themselves. They, like the bride, would ask some woman to do the sewing and this, of course, was very often free of charge since just about everyone in the community were close friends. If money was asked for doing the work it only amounted to one or two dollars.

Flowers

Both the bride and her maids carried a bouquet of flowers which were homemade. Two paper or plastic "doilies" were placed together and a hole punched through them for the placement of the flowers. A thin ribbon was usually tied around the flowers just above the doilies. The bridesmaids carried different types of garden flowers but it was a custom for the bride to carry red roses. In addition to her bouquet, the bride carried a small white prayer book called the "bridal book."

Groom's clothing

With respect to the clothing of the groom and male members of the bridal party, it was quite acceptable to wear "best suits." These suits were usually of a dark colour and were usually bought in St. John's.

Wedding Cake

The baking of the wedding cake was another job in itself. Again, a woman in the community would be asked to do this work. She would be provided with all the ingredients that were needed. Most wedding cakes were "pound cakes" and heavier than the regular Christmas cake because of the extra ingredients. Included were six eggs, a half-a-pound of butter, salt, flavouring, mixed fruit and flour. This mixed fruit would be bought in packages in the store and only a small amount of flour was used - just enough to hold the fruit together. If the cake was to be light, a lemon was used for flavouring; if dark, vanilla. Most women mixed half a cup of liquor, usually good rum or brandy, with the other ingredients. This prevented the cake from becoming stale too quick and, of course, it added to the taste.

The wedding cake was "three stories" high with each layer (which was square) a little smaller than the one below. The bottom layer would be ten inches square and about seven inches high. The next layer would be the same height but about eight inches square and the top layer was seven inches high and six inches square. These layers were baked individually and were allowed to cool for approximately three or four hours. This was necessary so that the icing would not melt when spread on the cake. Many women left the cake overnight and iced it in the morning.

The icing for the cake was always pure white and this, too, was homemade. Butter, sugar, milk and flavouring were mixed in a pan and let boil for a few minutes while being stirred. After this was completed, the pan was taken from over the stove where it was allowed to cool. While cooling, it could be beaten with two forks until the icing was as thick as desired. This beating also served to make the icing whiter.

The cake would be given two coatings of icing. The first would fill in whatever small flaws or cracks that were present in the surface and a later second coating, whiter and thicker that the first, would give the cake that "extra touch." When the icing of the cake had been completed, it would be decorated with candy and a little ornament. Usually a flag was carefully placed on the top layer.

The evening before the wedding some member(s) of the bride's family would arrive with a horse and buggy to pick up the cake. A large tray and a box were brought along to place the cake on. There would be much excitement over the cake and they would have to stop anyone they met for the sole purpose of displaying it, even before the wedding.

Several years later, wedding cakes would be made in less time at the community bakery and then delivered from there to the reception hall. There were some disadvantages, however, as we see from a Story told by a man from Placentia.

At the reception the cake would be "laid out" along with the other foods which had been prepared during the past week. The bride's mother was responsible for having the food prepared for the event. She would cook most of it herself but would also ask three or four women who lived nearby to help her with the work. She would then offer to provide these women with the ingredients they needed but very often they supplied these things themselves.

Food/Drinks at the Wedding

There would be many different kinds of buns, pies, cakes, etc., and there was always some sort of meat served. Often a sheep was killed and a large pot of soup was made. "Hop beer" would most likely be brewed for the event. Usually a bottle of rum was obtained from St. Pierre or St. John's so that there would always be punch for the ladies - a mixture of rum, hot water and sugar.

Preparing the food would take at least a week since practically everyone in the area would be invited. Invitations would be sent by word of mouth to close friends and relatives and they would be told to invite others. Everything would be ready and waiting at the house the night before the wedding.

The Morning of the Wedding

The next morning the bride and groom would walk to the church from their own home if they both lived in the same community. Otherwise a horse and buggy would be used. They would not see each other until they met at the altar. The bride would walk to the church "on the best man's arm" accompanied by the other bride's boys and her parents. The groom walked "on the arm of" the maid of honour with the other bridesmaids and his parents accompanying him. Others invited to the wedding walked to the church in a "hickley-pickley" manner, meaning it did not matter who they came along with.

At the Church

Just before the ceremony began a donation would be collected for the priest. This donation did not necessarily have to be any specified amount - it depended upon the charity of the donors themselves. At the church the best man would pass the bride to her father and he in turn would "give her away" to the groom. During the ceremony the rings of both the bride and groom would be blessed and placed on a silver coin, usually a silver dollar or fifty-cent piece. This coin would later be made into a broach or ring with the date of the wedding engraved on it. Some couples would keep the coin and when their first baby was born they would punch a hole in it and draw a string through ir in order to hang it around the baby's neck. He would then use this when he begun cutting teeth.

Outside the church, the people would throw handfuls of rice, uncooked of course, on the married couple. Anyone who had a gun would fire it while another blew a fog horn ( the type used in ships). As one informant put it, "All hands would be making as much noise as they could!"

The couple were not presented with many wedding gifts. Probably a few close relatives would give them a small gift - maybe a table cloth, a bowl or some other article. During the engagement, however the bride would keep a "hope chest" for which she would collect dishes, cooking utensils, towels and all sorts of household items.

Back at the House - The Reception

The bride's parents would usually rush back to the house before the others in order to meet the married couple and the other guests at the door. After everyone arrived at the reception it was not long before things were in "full swing". The meal would be served by the bride's mother along with the other women who had helped her throughout the week. Sometimes it would take hours before everyone was fed and it often happened that one group would be dancing while another were just getting "their tea".

The accordion player was usually in the living room but, because there would often be such a crowd, people would occupy nearly every room in the house so that there would be room for dancing. The bride would usually keep her wedding dress on during the entire reception but, as one woman explained, "It was not in very good condition when the day was over."

The wedding reception would continue throughout the day and often throughout the entire night. Some stories tell of how wedding receptions continued for three days. "When they got too tired," she said, "they would take a little nap, and start up again."

After the Reception

After the wedding the bride and groom would "head home." This was meant in the same sense that a honeymoon is today. The couple would visit some of their relations and especially the groom's parents. If there were some relatives who had not attended the wedding, the bride would wear her wedding gown for these visits.

Most couples would have a new house to move into after they returned from their "haul home" which lasted a few days. If they did not, they would live with the bride's or the groom's parents. In any case, when they did move into their own home, which was known as "breaking house," there would always be a dance held. This dance was always held after a new home was built for the purpose of "driving home the nails."

Source:

Placenta Historical Society. (1973). Opportunities for Youth Summer Project '73. Materials donated by Mrs. Patricia Power.

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